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This is not a post be against anyone who believes it does, or anyone who disagree with me. I’m not writing to attack anybody. Just to share my thoughts and concerns.

Here is what I think. When I say long-distance, I mean being in two different countries, where you cannot drive to see one another, and perhaps there is time difference that is hindering you two to communicate well.

What is really the point of you being in a long distance relationship? Basically, two of you are living two different lives and you can barely share it with one another. As human, we all know, we mature, we grow, and that is something that we cannot control. Imagine two people living in two different lives and barely communicating (basically only know roughly what happens on each other’s day), what will happen to them? They will slowly drift apart. Slowly, I mean. Say, one really needs someone to talk to at night but the other is asleep, what to do? This one person cannot wake the other up because his/her partner has work/school the next day. So this one person rely on one’s friends. Same goes the opposite.

Slowly and slowly… you learn how to live without each other’s presence. Slowly and slowly, you learn that you don’t really miss each other when you don’t see them. Why? Because you’re not really thinking of that person. So, tell me what’s the point of living a life this way? Whatever age you are in, you do know, that there is probably a better offer for you out there that you never bother to find because you closed up this door to allow others in. So what is it actually doing?

Let’s look at it from another point of view. One partner move to another country for a reason. Either to study/move with family/to work. Some say when you keep your relationship that means that you are serious. Let’s put it this way, if you are serious, you are thinking of taking your relationship to the next step (sometime in your life, whether it’s in 5 years, 10 years, 2 years) right? So you realize that your partner is working/schooling there and so are you in another country. If you are going to take it to the next level, you need to be living in the same place at some point. So tell me which one of you will sacrifice whatever you have achieved in your work/school to finally be in the same place. If one of you will move, without regret in the future, because you are taking a great risk, then it’s great. Then you do know that your relationship works. But what if that person regrets it? The only thing that it will do is to just ruin your relationship. Because one will say “because of you I gave up my job that could have earned more money than this” (say if you are in debt), then the other say “so are you blaming me? so you never wanted to move in the first place?” and on and on and on….

I’m telling you. Long distance relationship is harder to maintain than you think. But the fact that you should know is that, couples fail long distance relationship doesn’t always mean that one cheated on the other. Couples fail the long distance relationship sooner/later doesn’t matter…. in fact, the longer it takes you to realize, the longer it will take to regret.

Couples fail their long distance relationship because they realize that what made them fall in love with each other was either: their presence, the way they make you feel, how they are always there for you, their jokes, and others. Then they realize, that what made them fell in love was no longer presence and sometimes it takes a long time for people to realize that it’s not there, some people realize it pretty quickly. What happens is that, whether you are in a long distance or not, people to fall in love and fall out of love. That’s normal.

Our life is not a movie, it’s not like “Going the Distance” where you have the money to buy plane tickets every month to see each other. Maybe some people do, but what happens if it costs more than $1,000 for a ticket. Is it really possible to see each other every month?

Is it really possible to keep the spark that you have? Is it really possible to be who you WERE when you were together in the same place, when now you have changed/grew to another person? Is it? Do you really need to fake your personality? After all, isn’t it why you want to be serious with someone, because you feel comfortable? Is faking your personality one of the criteria?

This is just my thought. Not to offend anybody again as I mention it. If you do have a successful long distance relationship, then I shall say, I highly respect you two because it is difficult to maintain until you get married (let’s say, or until you take it to the next level).

If you want to share your stories or thoughts, whatever it is. Successful or unsuccessful. Long distance or not long distance. Do let me know πŸ™‚

Love,

Shannen β™₯

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