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Shannen Prijatna

~ Sprinkling The World With Love <3

Shannen Prijatna

Monthly Archives: January 2014

Third Culture Kid?

31 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by shannenprijatna in Uncategorized

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“A third culture kid, TCK, is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture”

Being taken out of my so-called home country at the age of 10. Spent a significant part of my developmental years in a multi-racial country while attending an International School. Currently studying university in another region. Has made me become one of the many third culture kids.

However, recently, I have been seeing an increase in popularity of articles and posts about third culture kid. I am constantly flooded with endless amount of such posts from my High School Friends. Whether it’s about the benefits, the characteristics, and up to the funny moments of being a TCK. All these posts, make it seem like being a TCK is superior.

The media has made it seems like being a TCK is very luxurious. I could not agree to the fact that being a TCK does open many doors of opportunities for me. I got the best education I could possibly ask for. I got to have the best and most supportive teacher, I was taught in what-to-me is the best curriculum, I was taught to be open-minded at a young age, and I met the greatest and most inspiring people (and most of all, friends). I could not have possibly think of getting anything similar if I was never taken out of my home country at such a young age.

But, there are many hardships of being a TCK that are never revealed by the media. In the end, we are all human. We are all equal. There are so many emotional battles that we need to go through, more than one could imagine. Now, let me tell you few hardships that we need to go through (ones that would even out the fact that we travel a lot). Let me tell you, that in the end, we are NOT anymore superior than other people.

1) We don’t actually know where are we from

Truth is, this fact is not always funny. In fact, it is heart-breaking. To this date, I don’t know where is “home”. Is home where the heart is? Or is it where your family is? Or is it where you passport says it is? Nobody knows the real answer. I don’t see this as something to be proud of. Seeing my friends speak happily and proudly about their home country, do make me feel jealous. You’ll be surprised at how many TCKs wish that they could equally speak with so much pride and joy.

2) We find ourselves disagreeing with our own culture and traditions

Being more exposed to different cultures, traditions, and ways of thinking… do end up making us wish that we were brought up the same way. Do you know about the phrase, “the more you know and yet the less you know”. Exactly. The more we know about different cultures and traditions. The less we actually know. The less we know what’s right and what’s wrong.

So? This means, we often find ourselves arguing about these issues with our own family, people from our own culture, or even people who are too open-minded. Sometimes, it is better to not know.

3) We find it difficult to get along with people from our own home country

Moving on from the second point. Because we are constantly arguing on little things, we do in the end find it more difficult to get along. Again, whether it’s from our own country or the more closed-minded people.

Especially when we go back “home”, a place where we did not grow up in. Obviously, we act, speak, and think differently. Some of you, non-TCKs, may think we are showing off or difficult to be friends with. Truth is, we are not trying to offend you, we were just raised differently. This is very heart-breaking, because fact is, most of the time we don’t get these exceptions. As a result, we find ourself alone in our own “home country”.

4) Our friends are spread out all around the world

Some may say, it’s a very “cool” thing to have, which I do agree, to an extent. Many people don’t realise how difficult it is for us to have a reunion. Many don’t realise how difficult it is to meet our friends again.

Consider this, in High School, I was very closed with one group of girls (there were 6 of us). Now, we are all spread around the world, in different countries, and different regions. Yes, I could see them again. But the chances of us meeting at the same time as a group of 6 again is nearly impossible. Because we are spread around, education system is different. Our vacation ends up at different times as well. It’s not too luxurious anymore, is it? While many other non-TCKs, could easily meet their group of friends again, we couldn’t. It is nearing to two years and we have not even gathered as a group again. In fact, I have not seen most of my good friends anymore.

5) We are used to goodbyes, too many that it’s NOT healthy.

Yes. I believe that being used to too many goodbyes is not healthy. Many of our friends and ourselves have to come and leave. It is not good to be prone to these goodbye tears.

What impact does this make in my life? I am beginning to realise that because of this, I am more scared to be attached to someone. Because I fear of being left once attached. This is a typical emotional problem that many TCKs have to go through, and yes, it is unhealthy.

Well after all, we are just human. We are equal. We are not anymore superior. Don’t let the media fool you. Yes, there are sooo many advantages and endless opportunities that are open to be as being a TCK. Yes, I have experience a lot more than an average person at my age.

But what I’m saying is, this does not make us any less human. There are many hardships for being a TCK too.

With love,

Shannnen ❤

Cheers to 2014!

08 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by shannenprijatna in Blabbers

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Tags

2013, 2014, better life, coding, goals, happy, learning, new years, new years resolution, programming, resolution, way of living

Cheers to 2014. Though I feel like a ‘party-pooper’, but to me, 2014 is just going to be one of those years….. It is you who could change it to be one ‘heck of a year’.

This year, I am taking a different take on how I will perceive life. This year, I don’t have any specific resolutions, but I do have step by step rules in order to change my way of living.

2013 was not the best year for me. It was the toughest, most tiring, but most educational. Nearing the end of 2013, I began to realised that I have just wasted another year. I have wasted it because I spent so much time trying to invest in my future that I realise that I did not live in the present at all. The last quarter of 2013 has been the toughest for me. I had never been in so much pressure, stress, and have that much workload before. I realise that I barely even have time for myself. By barely, I mean about 2-3 hours weekly at night (midnight, means sacrificing sleep time).

One day, I started to think, if I were to die today, would I die happy? The answer is a definite no. Because I have been living 95% of my life trying to invest in the future, that if I die today, I wouldn’t have achieved anything. Anything I mean. Time is something that none of us could control, isn’t it?

So for 2014, I promised to live my life differently. How? These are the first few steps I would take to achieve happiness. Because if I had to sacrifice my investment for the future, I’d rather ensure that it makes me happy.

1. Less of what ’employers would want to see’ and more of ‘what I have always wanted to achieve’.

What this means, I might need to quit one of my outside activities and pursue something that I had always doubt myself about…. which is learning Programming/Coding.

2. Less of what would my friends want to hear and more of what I want to do. 

Which means, if I would want to stay in and fiddle around with my makeup instead of having dinner/pubbing with my friends… That’s what I would do.

3. Become the Jack of all trade 

I have always had a lot of different interest in High School. Looking back, I realised that if I let myself to go outside the box and chase it like what I used to. I could be good/talented at something that I never thought I could. Hence, this means, go crazy with ideas but make sure to pursue it and not become one of those “I tried once, but I stopped”.

4. Continue what I have always loved to do.

What I have always loved to do is working with mentally disabled children and makeup. Hence, no matter what, I would need to make time for this. Even though it’s 2 hours per week. But I will and I have to.

5. Be happy

The last yet most important thing is to be happy. I need to be happy. Find the happiness and stop saying/thinking that “2012 was the best year by far”. Instead think, “2012 was amazing, but I know this year will be even better”. Make more friends, do what I love, pursue what I have always wanted to. Because everyone deserves to be happy. Pursue it even if people disagree with it. If it makes you happy, then that itself is an enough reason to pursue something. Happiness is the key to all success in your career, relationships, and life. Be happy! 🙂 

Please keep in mind that yes YOLO is a great thing to keep in your mind but too much YOLO-ing means your future is in danger. You need to have that balance. If you realise that you are leaning too far from one to the other, it’s time for you to stop and lean a bit backwards.

I don’t aim to live in the present 100% but I want to have at least 30% – 70%.

I hope this help you to consider how to start your year and how to change the way you live. Remember, it’s not about starting, but it’s about maintaining.

All the best.

With love,

Shannen ❤

What I Posted

  • #BacktoBasics: Understanding Your Skin Undertone
  • Beauty Hack: The Perfect Moisturiser for Combination Skin Type
  • 10 Things I’m Glad I Learnt Before I Turn 20
  • Third Culture Kid?
  • Cheers to 2014!

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