Category Archives: Blabbers

10 Things I’m Glad I Learnt Before I Turn 20

19 Saturday Jul 2014

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The day that I have dreaded for the past 2 years has finally arrived. The day that I wish would never arrive is finally here. The day that made me realise that I can run away from anything, but time. That, is my birthday. My 20th birthday.

Growing up, I have always thought that being in the 20s is scary. You are basically an adult with a lot of responsibilities on your shoulder. When I was growing up, my mom kept telling me how she got married at the age of 20 and pregnant by the age of 21. Maybe it is the norm back then, but my 5-year-old self had always picture being 20 as like a super adult – one who can do anything, just like my mom in that age.

Hence, if you all know me personally, I had been so scareeed to turn 20. But on the day when I turn 20, I took some time alone to reflect on my journey. The journey I had embark upon for 20 years and for more to come. These are the things I am so glad I had learnt before I turn 20:

     1. Not everyone is going to like you – and that’s fine                                                             This is truth – stop trying to please everyone. Stop trying to make everyone like you. I have yet to master this, but I have finally understand it and slowly learning to let go. Let go of those who are not worth of my time and effort.

    2. Happiness comes not only from within but also from our surroundings                    Everyone always tell me, “happiness comes from within”. Yes , that’s true. But it is only true to an extent. Happiness also comes from your surroundings. One TED talk say, “you are a reflection of the 5 closest people in your life”. I could not agree more about this. How can one remain happy if one of your close friends keep criticising you – sometimes not for the better but for the sake of it. This leads me to my next point.

   3.  Letting go is a sign of maturity
Letting go is a sign of maturity and NOT immaturity. When someone say “let go”, immediately you would think of a significant other. But really, sometimes this applies for friendship too. When it’s not worth your time and effort anymore, then let go. Sometimes, it is okay to be selfish.

   4.  Appreciate those who matter
This is one that many people forget or take for granted. Appreciate those who matter – that is very important. We can choose to let go of those who make you unhappy. But those who don’t, must be appreciated. Take a moment everyday, to give your dearest ones a 5 minute call. Take a moment during your lunch hour, to message your loved ones and say “how are you doing?” Sometimes even doing this to an old friend could really make their day. So start appreciating!

  5.  Never let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.                                   Expect to fail but don’t be afraid of failure. There will not be success without failure. Here is one of my favourite Japanese proverb:

7times  6.   Dream big and make it happen                                                                                                  Everyday, take a moment to think: what did I do today? Did it bring me one step closer to my dream?

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  7.  Today is the best time for you to try doing something new and take that risk!
I always tell my friends, “don’t wait for the right time. There will never be the right time. Create that time and make it right”.

  8.  Those who matter don’t mind, those who mind don’t matter                                                  Be who you are and who you aspire to be! Even if that means you have to change a little. Remember, “Change is the only thing constant – and it’s inevitable”. Some complain when they see others change. But to be honest, sometimes we need to change, for the better. How can we be who we aspire to be, if we remain the same, and don’t change at all? Quoting another TED Talk, I love this quote:  “Don’t fake it until you make it. But fake it until you be it”.

  9.  Do good: to yourself, to those around you, but mainly to the world
This Is a very important point that people often forget. We focus so much on ourselves that we forget the world. We need to spread this happiness. Find what cause resonates with you most, and do something about it. Not everyone will be passionate about the same cause. But it’s better to have one cause that you are passionate about than nothing. 

It could be anything from poverty, human rights, empowerment and so on. Remember, giving is sometimes better than receiving. 

  10. Create legacy: picture yourself how do you want to be remembered?                                   Think how do you want to be remembered? Always remember that in the end of the day, people will not remember what you did but they will remember how you make them feel. Similarly, people will not remember what job you had or what you did to get you there, but they will remember the impact you created.

By the end of this, you probably know my love of TED talks. But I promise you, this one is one that’s worth watching. He quoted “there are more than 1 billion worlds out there. So remember, if you have change 1 person. You have change/impacted 1 world”.

 

After this reflection, I felt so much better about myself. Maybe, I have not achieved as much as my mom. Yes, she’s a superwoman. But, at least, I know I have learnt so much about myself. Learnt so much to be a better person. I am so grateful about that 🙂

 

With love,

Shannen ❤

Cheers to 2014!

08 Wednesday Jan 2014

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Cheers to 2014. Though I feel like a ‘party-pooper’, but to me, 2014 is just going to be one of those years….. It is you who could change it to be one ‘heck of a year’.

This year, I am taking a different take on how I will perceive life. This year, I don’t have any specific resolutions, but I do have step by step rules in order to change my way of living.

2013 was not the best year for me. It was the toughest, most tiring, but most educational. Nearing the end of 2013, I began to realised that I have just wasted another year. I have wasted it because I spent so much time trying to invest in my future that I realise that I did not live in the present at all. The last quarter of 2013 has been the toughest for me. I had never been in so much pressure, stress, and have that much workload before. I realise that I barely even have time for myself. By barely, I mean about 2-3 hours weekly at night (midnight, means sacrificing sleep time).

One day, I started to think, if I were to die today, would I die happy? The answer is a definite no. Because I have been living 95% of my life trying to invest in the future, that if I die today, I wouldn’t have achieved anything. Anything I mean. Time is something that none of us could control, isn’t it?

So for 2014, I promised to live my life differently. How? These are the first few steps I would take to achieve happiness. Because if I had to sacrifice my investment for the future, I’d rather ensure that it makes me happy.

1. Less of what ’employers would want to see’ and more of ‘what I have always wanted to achieve’.

What this means, I might need to quit one of my outside activities and pursue something that I had always doubt myself about…. which is learning Programming/Coding.

2. Less of what would my friends want to hear and more of what I want to do. 

Which means, if I would want to stay in and fiddle around with my makeup instead of having dinner/pubbing with my friends… That’s what I would do.

3. Become the Jack of all trade 

I have always had a lot of different interest in High School. Looking back, I realised that if I let myself to go outside the box and chase it like what I used to. I could be good/talented at something that I never thought I could. Hence, this means, go crazy with ideas but make sure to pursue it and not become one of those “I tried once, but I stopped”.

4. Continue what I have always loved to do.

What I have always loved to do is working with mentally disabled children and makeup. Hence, no matter what, I would need to make time for this. Even though it’s 2 hours per week. But I will and I have to.

5. Be happy

The last yet most important thing is to be happy. I need to be happy. Find the happiness and stop saying/thinking that “2012 was the best year by far”. Instead think, “2012 was amazing, but I know this year will be even better”. Make more friends, do what I love, pursue what I have always wanted to. Because everyone deserves to be happy. Pursue it even if people disagree with it. If it makes you happy, then that itself is an enough reason to pursue something. Happiness is the key to all success in your career, relationships, and life. Be happy! 🙂 

Please keep in mind that yes YOLO is a great thing to keep in your mind but too much YOLO-ing means your future is in danger. You need to have that balance. If you realise that you are leaning too far from one to the other, it’s time for you to stop and lean a bit backwards.

I don’t aim to live in the present 100% but I want to have at least 30% – 70%.

I hope this help you to consider how to start your year and how to change the way you live. Remember, it’s not about starting, but it’s about maintaining.

All the best.

With love,

Shannen ❤

What if your hobby is your profession?

03 Tuesday Dec 2013

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Here I write on behalf of the people who are studying or working in field that interest them but not necessarily satisfy them. Dear friends, you are not alone.

I’m sure there are many of you who have hobbies that are not related to what you are studying or working in. I’m sure among most of you there, ever once thought, “should I pursue this interest?” or “why didn’t I pursue this interest?”

A couple days ago, the thought had struck me. I thought “why didn’t I pursue makeup?” I was devastated and had thought of leaving my university (ha, might also be because of the exams depression! :p). But I then remember, one night, when I was at a pub with my friend. My friend asked this stranger we met, “Why did you decide to study Literature?”, then she said “Well I really enjoy reading and I love analysing them”. Good answer, I thought. Many of us, choose our “path” in university based on similar deduction.

Then, my friend is a curious one, he continued to ask “Well, now that you read for your course, do you still read for your own enjoyment?” She replied “Good question, I guess I don’t have that much time to read for my own enjoyment. Maybe on vacation….”

Well, that conversation, certainly linger in my thoughts for quite some time. Right now, when things get too messy and I’m too stressed about everything going on in my life. I can lock myself in my own room, and fiddle around with my makeup for hours.

But I wonder, if my hobby is my profession…. Then what would my hobby be? Would I enjoy my life more or even less, because I have nothing to get my mind off things when I’m stressed? Or will my life be different? Will I find other hobbies?

Will I be happier …. or will I prove my own opinion about humankind that, “human is never satisfied”?

I wonder how things will be. For those of you who ever once thought about pursuing your hobby, think about this. This is just a small food for thought.

But you are your own decision-maker. Will you just think about it and create all contingency plans? Or will you actually do something about it and find out about the result yourself?

Sometimes

25 Thursday Jul 2013

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Sometimes we are too focused on ourselves, we forget about our loved ones.

Sometimes we try too hard to make ourselves happy, we don’t realise we are hurting others.

Sometimes we try too hard to make ourselves look good, we trash others.

Sometimes we try to too hard to keep ourselves healthy, we forget about the health of our loved ones.

Sometimes we work too much, we forget our priorities

Sometimes we try too hard to ‘live our lives’, we forget about our responsibilities

Sometimes we try too hard to grow up fast, we forget that our parents are growing old fast too.

Sometimes we are too focused to get to a destination, we forget to look around along the way.

Sometimes we are too focused on the closed doors of opportunities, we forget to look at the open windows… or even, opened doors right across the street.

Sometimes we are too focused on ourselves and how to be how we want ourselves to be, we forget to be who we actually are.

Sometimes we are too focused on ourselves, we forget about those around us.

Perhaps sometimes, we should switch the sentence the other way around.

 

Because doing one good deed every once in a while is not enough.

Because being selfish may get you to a lot of places, but it does not get you satisfaction and happiness.

 

 

The Day I Let My Emotions Take Control

16 Tuesday Jul 2013

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I still remember vividly, the day that I let my emotions take control…

It wasn’t a pretty time of my life. I remember waking up thinking that I couldn’t go on. I remember going to sleep thinking “what did I do wrong?”

At that time, nothing made sense. All I know is that, things were not supposed to be that way and I wasn’t prepared for that to happen.

I let my emotions take control, I let it take the best of me. All my judgements and all my rational thinking was clouded by my emotions. This wasn’t a pretty time for me (and yes, I thank God for those who helped me get through).

But now, looking back, although I am not suppose to regret. Although I am suppose to take it as a lesson and learn not to let it happen again. But honestly, I can’t help to think of all the bad decisions I made at that time.

I, although am ashamed to admit this but, regret it. I regret allowing my emotions get the best of me. I regret making the infamous decisions that lead me to be here today. Although, I still consider myself quite lucky but I am not happy.

I can’t help to think how much happier I would have been if I have never made that mistake. I can’t help to think how much new things I would be learning if I had not let my emotions control me.

My friend, my dear friend, I tell you now…. I may sound heartless, but, if you ever find yourself in a dark place and your emotions are beginning to take control. Don’t.

Don’t let it happen. Don’t let your emotions take control. And if it ever does, never let your emotions help you to make decisions. Because once you do, you’ll have to live knowing you made a mistake. Forever.

Shannen ❤