What if your hobby is your profession?

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Here I write on behalf of the people who are studying or working in field that interest them but not necessarily satisfy them. Dear friends, you are not alone.

I’m sure there are many of you who have hobbies that are not related to what you are studying or working in. I’m sure among most of you there, ever once thought, “should I pursue this interest?” or “why didn’t I pursue this interest?”

A couple days ago, the thought had struck me. I thought “why didn’t I pursue makeup?” I was devastated and had thought of leaving my university (ha, might also be because of the exams depression! :p). But I then remember, one night, when I was at a pub with my friend. My friend asked this stranger we met, “Why did you decide to study Literature?”, then she said “Well I really enjoy reading and I love analysing them”. Good answer, I thought. Many of us, choose our “path” in university based on similar deduction.

Then, my friend is a curious one, he continued to ask “Well, now that you read for your course, do you still read for your own enjoyment?” She replied “Good question, I guess I don’t have that much time to read for my own enjoyment. Maybe on vacation….”

Well, that conversation, certainly linger in my thoughts for quite some time. Right now, when things get too messy and I’m too stressed about everything going on in my life. I can lock myself in my own room, and fiddle around with my makeup for hours.

But I wonder, if my hobby is my profession…. Then what would my hobby be? Would I enjoy my life more or even less, because I have nothing to get my mind off things when I’m stressed? Or will my life be different? Will I find other hobbies?

Will I be happier …. or will I prove my own opinion about humankind that, “human is never satisfied”?

I wonder how things will be. For those of you who ever once thought about pursuing your hobby, think about this. This is just a small food for thought.

But you are your own decision-maker. Will you just think about it and create all contingency plans? Or will you actually do something about it and find out about the result yourself?

Sometimes

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Sometimes we are too focused on ourselves, we forget about our loved ones.

Sometimes we try too hard to make ourselves happy, we don’t realise we are hurting others.

Sometimes we try too hard to make ourselves look good, we trash others.

Sometimes we try to too hard to keep ourselves healthy, we forget about the health of our loved ones.

Sometimes we work too much, we forget our priorities

Sometimes we try too hard to ‘live our lives’, we forget about our responsibilities

Sometimes we try too hard to grow up fast, we forget that our parents are growing old fast too.

Sometimes we are too focused to get to a destination, we forget to look around along the way.

Sometimes we are too focused on the closed doors of opportunities, we forget to look at the open windows… or even, opened doors right across the street.

Sometimes we are too focused on ourselves and how to be how we want ourselves to be, we forget to be who we actually are.

Sometimes we are too focused on ourselves, we forget about those around us.

Perhaps sometimes, we should switch the sentence the other way around.

 

Because doing one good deed every once in a while is not enough.

Because being selfish may get you to a lot of places, but it does not get you satisfaction and happiness.

 

 

The Day I Let My Emotions Take Control

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I still remember vividly, the day that I let my emotions take control…

It wasn’t a pretty time of my life. I remember waking up thinking that I couldn’t go on. I remember going to sleep thinking “what did I do wrong?”

At that time, nothing made sense. All I know is that, things were not supposed to be that way and I wasn’t prepared for that to happen.

I let my emotions take control, I let it take the best of me. All my judgements and all my rational thinking was clouded by my emotions. This wasn’t a pretty time for me (and yes, I thank God for those who helped me get through).

But now, looking back, although I am not suppose to regret. Although I am suppose to take it as a lesson and learn not to let it happen again. But honestly, I can’t help to think of all the bad decisions I made at that time.

I, although am ashamed to admit this but, regret it. I regret allowing my emotions get the best of me. I regret making the infamous decisions that lead me to be here today. Although, I still consider myself quite lucky but I am not happy.

I can’t help to think how much happier I would have been if I have never made that mistake. I can’t help to think how much new things I would be learning if I had not let my emotions control me.

My friend, my dear friend, I tell you now…. I may sound heartless, but, if you ever find yourself in a dark place and your emotions are beginning to take control. Don’t.

Don’t let it happen. Don’t let your emotions take control. And if it ever does, never let your emotions help you to make decisions. Because once you do, you’ll have to live knowing you made a mistake. Forever.

Shannen ❤

There will always be that person

In life, there will always be that person. That person who was once your “friend/acquaintance”. That person who you tried not to judge, not to gossip about, or cause any harm to.

But little did you know, that was very much one-sided. You realised, that the person was in fact, judging you and saying untrue things. Of course, you will try not to care. But how long would the ‘try-not-to-care’ last?

Mine lasted almost 6 months. Quite a short length of time frankly speaking. But if you were in my position, I know you’d do the same. Because the person was always in my way in every single thing and every single step I took to move forward.

Now, it has been almost 3 years since I try to ignore the existence of the person. But again, you know, there will always be that person… who doesn’t understand that you are staying away from him/her and you hope that they would do the same. Keep some distance, is all I ever ask.

But then what? There is always that person who will just never understand and try to be in your way. No matter how hard you try to erase them out of your life….

What’s worse? Is when that person, purposely tries to disturbs your life through your significant other (best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever), because they know that it would definitely effect you.

For once, now, I am putting a stop to this. It may sound rude, but our lives will never move forward, if we never erase that person completely out of our lives. Of course, I’m sure, somewhere along the line, we’ll meet someone else who is like that.

But we’ve at least learned out lesson that we will keep distance from the start. That we will erase them completely before it’s too late.

I am now going to delete everything and even everyone who will somehow connect me to that person.

You were never good for me. If anything, you only add problems to my life.

The Difference Between ‘Trying’ and ‘Doing’

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I remember days when I was crushed when I found out that I fail. Failing is a scary word. It’s a word that none of us wants to hear.

I always say to myself, to everyone “But I put so much effort in it. I have tried so hard.” I never understand how the world works before.

But now, I do. Of course, many of us knows that there is a beauty in failing. That’s not new, is it? But what’s new to me is that I failed because I tried and I didn’t do.

What’s the difference, really? Well, an analogy that I’d like to use to describe my thought is:

Scientists ‘do’ an experiment, whether the result agrees or disagrees with their hypothesis. But they got a result. A valid result that they could learn from. But a scientist who ‘tries’ to do an experiment would not have results to prove their hypothesis. 

Why?

Because a scientists who tried only tried. That scientist never really finished the experiment. Hence it failed. 

Both situations could lead to failing. But one is the type that we could learn from and another is a type that leads us to wonder why we failed. The second one would not make us better because we’ll keep thinking that we were right.

 

So this is a piece of my mind and thoughts today. I hope this finds you all well.

Let’s start doing and stop trying. Because our efforts will only be acknowledged when we get results. Don’t consider yourself successful until you get results (even though the results are not as positive). But success is when we have something to learn from, success is not when we did not finish doing something.

 

Good luck!

With love,

Shannen ❤